Summertime Butterflies
Feb. 17th, 2017 09:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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rogue_americaOver the last several months, Steve had been taking on more and more missions for SHIELD. He didn't really need to, but it made him feel useful, needed in a way that he never could quite manage any other time. It gave him an outlet for his energy that running, boxing and even sparring never quite could. It was as if his body knew what it had been engineered for, and it grew restless if it wasn't used for its intended purpose.
All of this was to say, when Fury made a comment about Steve moving to Washington, D.C. to be closer to SHIELD headquarters, Steve gave it due consideration. The Avengers hadn't been called on again after the Battle of New York, and while he appreciated being able to hang out with his teammates, who had become fairly good friends in the last year, they weren't holding him back. If nothing else, technology was such that he could make video calls if he wanted, and he knew they'd talk to him any time of the day or night. (He was also under no illusions that Tony wouldn't send a private jet for him on a whim. Asshole.)
The only thing really keeping him in New York, besides nostalgia and familiarity (and even that wasn't very strong, with seventy years of changes to the city he'd grown up in), was Rogue. Which brought up several other issues.
First, he didn't know how she'd feel about moving. If she wanted to stay in New York, he wasn't going to just leave. If she did want to uproot and move with him to D.C....
It brought up thoughts of permanence that Steve had been trying to keep tamped down. They'd rushed into their relationship at lightning speed, and while he didn't regret it one bit, he knew now that there were a thousand ways it could've gone wrong, and he didn't want to rush into anything else.
They hadn't ever discussed marriage. They'd been dating, living together for ten months, and they knew each other well by now, and he thought she would be agreeable to marrying again... and to him, 10 months wasn't that short a time to go from dating to proposing... And they did mention forever - he still occasionally told Rogue she was stuck with him - so that was promising...
Those were the things he kept reminding himself, when he grew nervous and unsure. Not so unsure that he didn't already have a ring picked out. But under what circumstances he should ask, on that he was clueless.
So in the meantime, he went about each day as usual: reading, drawing, spending time with Rogue when they were both around. But his words and actions always had a nanosecond's hesitance, while he wondered 'should I just say it? Is this the right time? Should I ask at all? Maybe I should just bring up the possibility of moving together to D.C., and forget marriage.' He was constantly weighing risk versus reward. But despite the reward, the risk always seemed just slightly too high, the potential fall-out a little too devastating. So he fumbled, and pressed on, waiting for something, he just didn't know what, to tip the scales that little bit more in his favor.
Of course, he wasn't going to forget; while he'd had no real problem with living together out of wedlock, marriage was still the endgame for him, and he wanted to marry Rogue. It wasn't from antiquated thinking about making her an 'honest' woman - he wanted that physical, tangible proof that she was his, and off-limits to anyone else. And he wanted the same for himself. He wanted his friends, the country he served, and God to recognize that they were bound together, and let no man (or woman) tear asunder.
All of this was to say, when Fury made a comment about Steve moving to Washington, D.C. to be closer to SHIELD headquarters, Steve gave it due consideration. The Avengers hadn't been called on again after the Battle of New York, and while he appreciated being able to hang out with his teammates, who had become fairly good friends in the last year, they weren't holding him back. If nothing else, technology was such that he could make video calls if he wanted, and he knew they'd talk to him any time of the day or night. (He was also under no illusions that Tony wouldn't send a private jet for him on a whim. Asshole.)
The only thing really keeping him in New York, besides nostalgia and familiarity (and even that wasn't very strong, with seventy years of changes to the city he'd grown up in), was Rogue. Which brought up several other issues.
First, he didn't know how she'd feel about moving. If she wanted to stay in New York, he wasn't going to just leave. If she did want to uproot and move with him to D.C....
It brought up thoughts of permanence that Steve had been trying to keep tamped down. They'd rushed into their relationship at lightning speed, and while he didn't regret it one bit, he knew now that there were a thousand ways it could've gone wrong, and he didn't want to rush into anything else.
They hadn't ever discussed marriage. They'd been dating, living together for ten months, and they knew each other well by now, and he thought she would be agreeable to marrying again... and to him, 10 months wasn't that short a time to go from dating to proposing... And they did mention forever - he still occasionally told Rogue she was stuck with him - so that was promising...
Those were the things he kept reminding himself, when he grew nervous and unsure. Not so unsure that he didn't already have a ring picked out. But under what circumstances he should ask, on that he was clueless.
So in the meantime, he went about each day as usual: reading, drawing, spending time with Rogue when they were both around. But his words and actions always had a nanosecond's hesitance, while he wondered 'should I just say it? Is this the right time? Should I ask at all? Maybe I should just bring up the possibility of moving together to D.C., and forget marriage.' He was constantly weighing risk versus reward. But despite the reward, the risk always seemed just slightly too high, the potential fall-out a little too devastating. So he fumbled, and pressed on, waiting for something, he just didn't know what, to tip the scales that little bit more in his favor.
Of course, he wasn't going to forget; while he'd had no real problem with living together out of wedlock, marriage was still the endgame for him, and he wanted to marry Rogue. It wasn't from antiquated thinking about making her an 'honest' woman - he wanted that physical, tangible proof that she was his, and off-limits to anyone else. And he wanted the same for himself. He wanted his friends, the country he served, and God to recognize that they were bound together, and let no man (or woman) tear asunder.
no subject
Date: 2017-02-23 06:52 pm (UTC)"So, emerald - well, that was kind of a no-brainer, I know you love green. For a while I thought just an emerald instead of a diamond. It symbolizes growth, new beginnings, like spring. And healing. It's also got tones of blue in the stone, when it's cut right, which according to people who know more about gemstones than me say it represents a 'steadfast bond.'
"But then I saw some that had a ruby with the emerald, and I... well, rubies, like a lot of red things, stand for love and passion, energy and life. And..." he was a little embarrassed to admit this next part. "Ruby is my birthstone, so I liked, and I thought you'd like, the idea of... always having a part of me with you."