Summertime Butterflies

[on_ur_left]

Over the last several months, Steve had been taking on more and more missions for SHIELD. He didn't really need to, but it made him feel useful, needed in a way that he never could quite manage any other time. It gave him an outlet for his energy that running, boxing and even sparring never quite could. It was as if his body knew what it had been engineered for, and it grew restless if it wasn't used for its intended purpose.

All of this was to say, when Fury made a comment about Steve moving to Washington, D.C. to be closer to SHIELD headquarters, Steve gave it due consideration. The Avengers hadn't been called on again after the Battle of New York, and while he appreciated being able to hang out with his teammates, who had become fairly good friends in the last year, they weren't holding him back. If nothing else, technology was such that he could make video calls if he wanted, and he knew they'd talk to him any time of the day or night. (He was also under no illusions that Tony wouldn't send a private jet for him on a whim. Asshole.)

The only thing really keeping him in New York, besides nostalgia and familiarity (and even that wasn't very strong, with seventy years of changes to the city he'd grown up in), was Rogue. Which brought up several other issues.

First, he didn't know how she'd feel about moving. If she wanted to stay in New York, he wasn't going to just leave. If she did want to uproot and move with him to D.C....

It brought up thoughts of permanence that Steve had been trying to keep tamped down. They'd rushed into their relationship at lightning speed, and while he didn't regret it one bit, he knew now that there were a thousand ways it could've gone wrong, and he didn't want to rush into anything else.

They hadn't ever discussed marriage. They'd been dating, living together for ten months, and they knew each other well by now, and he thought she would be agreeable to marrying again... and to him, 10 months wasn't that short a time to go from dating to proposing... And they did mention forever - he still occasionally told Rogue she was stuck with him - so that was promising...

Those were the things he kept reminding himself, when he grew nervous and unsure. Not so unsure that he didn't already have a ring picked out. But under what circumstances he should ask, on that he was clueless.

So in the meantime, he went about each day as usual: reading, drawing, spending time with Rogue when they were both around. But his words and actions always had a nanosecond's hesitance, while he wondered 'should I just say it? Is this the right time? Should I ask at all? Maybe I should just bring up the possibility of moving together to D.C., and forget marriage.' He was constantly weighing risk versus reward. But despite the reward, the risk always seemed just slightly too high, the potential fall-out a little too devastating. So he fumbled, and pressed on, waiting for something, he just didn't know what, to tip the scales that little bit more in his favor.

Of course, he wasn't going to forget; while he'd had no real problem with living together out of wedlock, marriage was still the endgame for him, and he wanted to marry Rogue. It wasn't from antiquated thinking about making her an 'honest' woman - he wanted that physical, tangible proof that she was his, and off-limits to anyone else. And he wanted the same for himself. He wanted his friends, the country he served, and God to recognize that they were bound together, and let no man (or woman) tear asunder.

Comments

[on_ur_left]

"Yeah?" Steve glanced up from his omelet, surprised, but pleased. He heard the hesitation, but he knew how much teaching meant to Rogue. He also knew at least the bare details of why she hadn't taken that step yet. The fact that she was thinking about it said a lot about how she was feeling, and it made him happy, and proud of her. "That would be--great..." He trailed off, realizing that if she got her license, she wouldn't want to move. It brought an even stronger sense of urgency to the situation, because he didn't want her making any decisions, he didn't want either of them making any decisions, until all the cards were laid out on the table.

Taking a bite of omelet to stall a little and give himself time to think, Steve finally said, "Whatever you decide, I'll support you. I'm proud of you."

[theycalledmeacurse]

The way he trailed off set her anxiety skyrocketing again, and that pause before he finished didn't help. Not even his statement of being proud of her was able to calm her nerves, and she was sure he'd noticed how strained her smile was. Perhaps not, if she was lucky, but she wasn't usually lucky.

Should she just come out and say it? Would bringing up whatever this was fix anything, or would it bring ruin that much quicker to her door? She cut off a piece of her omelet, separating the cheese from the egg with the tines of her fork, and--

"What is it?" There was fear in her voice and she hated it.

[on_ur_left]

Steve just attributed her anxiety to the idea of teaching again and the uncertainty that came with it. He looked up in confusion for a second at her question, before realizing-- shit, she had been picking up on his own anxiety.

Grimacing, Steve leaned back from the counter and scrubbed his hands over his face. Okay. He could do this. He just had to be careful how he phrased things.

"Remember when you said one time 'we need to talk' and I freaked out, because I thought you were breaking up with me? It's like that. I have some things we need to discuss, but it's not--it'll affect both of us, but not our relationship. I hope. I mean--well, it might, but not-- not like that. I'm not breaking up with you, I don't want to break up with you, or you to leave, or anything like that. But just-- hear me out, for a minute."

He scrubbed a nervous hand over his mouth. "Fury's been making some comments, lately, about me working in a more official capacity for SHIELD, as an actual field agent. Natasha would be my partner most of the time. The thing is... it would mean a move to D.C. And I-- I wanna take the spot, but if you don't want to move, I-- I won't." He didn't even sound disappointed when he said it, which was good, but also a little surprising, because he wanted the opportunity.

[theycalledmeacurse]

For those first couple of sentences, Rogue felt like she was strapped to a guillotine, waiting for someone to release the blade. Her heart was in her throat when he talked about things affecting their relationship, and even when he assured her that they weren't breaking up, she was terrified. But he asked her to listen, and so she did, her hands tightly wrapped around each other in her lap.

Moving to DC. They weren't breaking up, but... he was leaving? That was all she could hear of what he said, the thought ricocheting around her mind. After a moment, the rest did catch up though, and she stared at him in fearful hope. "You... want me to come with you?"

[on_ur_left]

Steve's shoulders slumped at her question; of course he wanted her to come with, and the fact that she seemed at all surprised by the thought made him feel like somehow he was failing. He knew Rogue's default was to assume people would abandon her, but he'd been trying so hard to show her that wasn't the case. He knew ten months wasn't nearly long enough to undo a lifetime of feelings - he'd had four years in this body and he still acted like he was that scrawny kid from before most of the time.

Reaching out, he placed his hand on her arm. "Yes. Of course I want you to come with. I--"

He had to do it now, he realized. Right now. "There's something else. I've been thinking about it - well, for a long time, but it always seemed too soon, and we never really talked about it, but then the whole thing with SHIELD and moving came up, and I don't want you to think that's the only reason, but-- whether I take the job or not..." He took a deep breath, unconsciously squaring his shoulders. Brace for impact. "Will...you marry me?"

[theycalledmeacurse]

He had better damn well brace for impact. Three seconds after those words left his lips, Rogue was launching herself out of her chair and right at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and grabbing fistfuls of his shirt.

"Yes!" she exclaimed in a squeaky, almost whisper, her throat so tight with emotion that the words didn't want to come out at a normal volume. "Yes, I'll marry you."

She didn't have to think about it. This was something she'd dreamed of, something she'd hoped would happen despite their never having explicitly spoken about it. When you dream come true was presented to you on a platter by someone you loved, you sure as hell didn't turn it down.

[on_ur_left]

Steve reached up instinctively to wrap his arms around Rogue; they tightened when he fully comprehended her answer, and he squeezed his eyes shut as sheer relief threatened to overwhelm him. "Oh, thank God," he mumbled.

"Wait! No, shit," he swore, pulling back and looking panicked. "I had-- just-- stay here!" He held up a finger to indicate 'one second', then turned and sprinted into the bedroom. He reached into the closet and pulled out his portfolio, digging in the pocket for a second before racing back to Rogue.

He wasn't sure... he'd already proposed, she'd already accepted, it seemed a little silly to get down on one knee now...

Fuck it. She knew he was cheesy and old fashioned, and she loved it. So Steve knelt down on one knee in front of Rogue. At least he wasn't nervous about what her answer would be, now. "I know I already screwed this up, but I wanna do it right. Marie LeBeau, you... are the most amazing woman I've ever met, and I don't know what I'd do without you." He held up the ring box he'd grabbed earlier, already open to show the silver ring holding emeralds along the sides to create leaves, surrounding a ruby in the center. "Would you do me the honor of being my wife?"

[theycalledmeacurse]

It was a bit surreal to have Steve run away just seconds after proposing, but Rogue really wasn't all that surprised. He was a bit quirky at times, her soon to be husband, and she did so love that about him. She actually found it a bit comical to watch him dash off like that, and she was still smiling when he returned and got down--

Oh. Oh, Steve.

Tears filled her eyes and she tried her best to hold them back, because she really wanted to see that damn ring and see him and damnit, she was crying and there was no stopping it. "Well, I don't know, sugar," she replied, trying to make a joke despite her watery, silly grin. "I might have to think about it a little."

[on_ur_left]

Steve wasn't at all surprised by the tears. He'd been fully expecting them at some point, had even figured it would be about the time he offered the ring. Really, he shouldn't have been surprised by her response, either, but he couldn't help the way his jaw dropped a little, more surprised at her sheer audacity.

"Oh, I see how it is." He looked down for just a second - before surging forward and up, wrapping his arms around Rogue's thighs so when he was standing, she was slung over his shoulder. "Looks like it's caveman rules, then," he told her, moving over to the couch, leaning over enough that she didn't have far to fall, then immediately flopped on top of her - being careful not to squish her, just... hold her in place. He reached for her hand, the ring out of the box and held in his other.

"This ring is going on your finger, and that's that!" he teasingly threatened.

[theycalledmeacurse]

Rogue squeaked loudly in protest at being manhandled, but it was quickly drowned out by the string of giggles that followed as he carried her to the couch. Even without him keeping her in place, she didn't plan on moving a single inch.

"You talk big, Rogers, but let's see you follow through with it," she taunted playfully, grinning like an idiot and just itching to have that ring on her finger. Not because it was beautiful (though good lord it was) but because it was a symbol that they would be tied together. She didn't mind just being with each other, but there was something so satisfying in being able to say she was someone's wife. Her previous life hadn't given her much opportunity to enjoy that luxury, and she fully intended to do so with this new one.

[on_ur_left]

Steve held Rogue's hand and carefully slipped the ring on her finger, taking a moment afterward to just look at it on her hand. He slid over until he was resting more along the back of the couch, with just a leg and arm draped over her, and pulled her hand up to place a kiss over the ring.

"I know diamonds are traditional, but I liked this one," he told her quietly, as if confiding a secret. "You know what rubies and emeralds stand for?"

If she didn't, he was definitely going to make her cry again.

[theycalledmeacurse]

Watching him slip that ring on her finger, she was so happy and so desperately in love with him that she thought her heart would burst. It will silly, it was just this tiny piece of jewelry, but it was a symbol for so much more.

Her throat was tight as she shook her head at his question and, smiling slightly, accused him, "This is gonna be like the first time you gave me flowers, isn't it?" On his birthday, when she cried as he'd told her about each bloom and its meaning. She had no doubt she was about to cry all over him now, and she didn't feel all that bad about it -- it was his own fault for being so amazing, after all.

[on_ur_left]

"Probably." He couldn't quite stop the guilty laughter that came through his words. "Is it horrible that I kinda like making you cry, so long as it's not from being sad? I like you crying from happiness... and laughter... even if it's at my own expense." He twined their fingers together, rubbing over her ring - his ring - with his thumb. He could already tell it was going to become a habit, touching that ring whenever he could.

"So, emerald - well, that was kind of a no-brainer, I know you love green. For a while I thought just an emerald instead of a diamond. It symbolizes growth, new beginnings, like spring. And healing. It's also got tones of blue in the stone, when it's cut right, which according to people who know more about gemstones than me say it represents a 'steadfast bond.'

"But then I saw some that had a ruby with the emerald, and I... well, rubies, like a lot of red things, stand for love and passion, energy and life. And..." he was a little embarrassed to admit this next part. "Ruby is my birthstone, so I liked, and I thought you'd like, the idea of... always having a part of me with you."